Gratefulness During Troubled Times
I’ve had words with myself recently. They have been stern, with an attempted edge of kindness, because I understand why I’ve been feeling overly emotional. I sit in the peace and comfort of my home in Western Australia, experiencing a sense of helplessness and if I’m honest, a touch of guilt at my good fortune as I hear news of terrorist attacks in the Middle East and the continuing war in Ukraine. I know that I’m not alone in watching this, horrified at the inhumane cruelty that humans are capable of. However, I realised that my emotions were hijacking my daily life when I overreacted to something that wouldn’t normally cause me that amount of angst. It forced me to objectively look at myself and my mindset and enabled me to see how exhausted I was becoming by this constant barrage of violent news.
The most obvious thing to do next was to restrict my news intake, which has been easy. However, in wanting to find a way to overcome my sense of helplessness and guilt without losing my compassion, I am reminded that the only control I have in any given situation is my personal response. I recently read a book recommended to me called Mindfulness and Christian Spirituality by Tim Stead. I found the concepts introduced simple to follow so I began introducing them to help ground my thoughts when they threatened to fly away with my fears and anxiety.
The most profound change, though, came about when I intentionally increased my gratitude practice. I have been an advocate for the power of gratefulness for many years, and when I find myself in circumstances as I do now, I am reminded how profoundly and deeply this choice works within me. Being intentionally thankful shifts my focus and frees me from fearful thoughts. This isn’t a coincidence. In his book, Thanks! Robert Emmons, a professor who has studied the impact of gratitude on humans, writes: “We discovered scientific proof that when people regularly engage in the systematic cultivation of gratitude, they experience a variety of measurable benefits: psychological, physical, and interpersonal….and are more pleasant to be around.”1
This means that although we are unable to change the horror that is taking place in the world, we can improve the energy in our tiny spheres by leaning into the grace prevalent in gratefulness, which turns into an act of service because of the ripple effect.
There are three valuable habits that I have found helpful to include daily:
1. Give thanks on waking. The first moments as consciousness spreads over me, I feel particularly vulnerable to my thoughts. I have trained myself to override anything that pings into my mind by giving thanks for my sleep and for the day ahead. To wake to a new day is a gift for which I have done nothing to earn. Consciously encouraging this gratefulness to lodge in my heart changes the manner in which I begin my day.
2. Mindfulness. Periodically throughout the day, I pause what I’m doing, bring my attention to something impactful in the present, and feel the gratitude in my heart. This takes only a few minutes but is surprisingly effective at grounding me in the moment.
3. Give thanks before sleep. At the end of each day, I journal my thanks for what has been, as well as for what is to come, and, in this way, I’m grateful for today and tomorrow. It has been scientifically proven that when we write our vision and expectations with thanks, we are setting our focus on desired outcomes. For people of faith, these become prayers.
Developing a grateful heart and outlook on living is a discipline and a habit, which means that it’s available to all of us. I have found it worth cultivating, especially during times when it feels as if things around me are out of control because it helps me to accept that there are times when I simply cannot make any sense of the senseless. This acceptance brings a peace that deepens my faith and hope for the future. It encourages me to take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions, focus on my small area of influence, and be of service there.
1. Emmons, Robert A, Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. Boston, Houghton Mifflin Co, 2007.